PRISONERS OF CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

“I’ve always had a gift for seeing inside…I work with people to bring out the truth of their experience so that they’re no longer prisoners of their childhood, and they can make a conscious choice about how to live in the present moment, not based on how they were programmed in childhood.” ~ Dr. Gabor Maté

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This school year, I have presented to staff on the importance of trauma-informed care along with the impacts of adverse childhood experiences.  Many of our students today are not only bringing their backpacks to school, but bringing all of their trauma along as well.

In 1995, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention conducted the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) Studies in California which looked at the relationship between childhood adversity and adult outcomes. The studies looked at different types of abuse, divorce, incarceration, domestic violence, substance abuse, mental illness, death of a family member, and others.  The more adverse experiences a child experienced growing up, the more likely the risk of drug use, suicide, obesity, auto-immune disease, addiction, heart disease, and other mental/physical health problems. These studies have been repeated multiple times in different countries with the same results.

As adults, many of us may feel outwardly successful but inwardly tortured.  Many of us are deeply troubled inside, experiencing anxiety, depression, discouragement, maybe becoming driven workaholics or busying ourselves.

We become experts at distracting and hiding our own suffering —  even from ourselves.  The link may be due to childhood trauma.  

“Trauma isn’t what happens to you, it’s what happens inside of you.” ~ Dr. Gabor Matè

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Why do we suffer?  Why are we the way that we are?  Dr. Gabor Matè’s life’s work has been motivated by these questions to help people become liberated from their prison of childhood.  Matè made a recent appearance on an episode of The Tim Ferriss Show.  Matè is a speaker, best-selling author, and focuses on topics such as addiction, childhood development, and stress.

Matè states that things happen to us as children, and they may be negative things. We then adapt to those things by taking on certain defensive ways of being.  As a result, we live the rest of our lives in those defensive modes, not really experiencing the present.

We are constantly reliving the past from a perspective that we acquired when we were helpless, vulnerable children.  

In schools, many of our students are either diagnosed or labeled as ADHD.  With being trauma-informed, it is crucial to know that trauma and ADHD can look a lot alike.  The symptoms are very similar, and there is some overlap.  This is important to note because a child may be treated for ADHD when it is actually trauma, and the treatment plans are very different.

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Matè, who also expresses his own struggle with ADHD, believes that “tuning out” begins as a coping mechanism rooted in early childhood trauma.  In early childhood, there may be circumstances where we can’t escape, fight back, or seek help.  What then do we do?

We tune out.

Tuning out is a defensive part of the brain as a way of dealing with stress as the brain is developing.  Young children, even toddlers, can sense and feel the pain and suffering of their parents.  Tuning out helps serve them as a young child, but causes problems later on.  Matè believes that the most important part of brain development is the parent-child relationship.

Matè states that what we need to do is learn how to reconnect with our bodies, which is where healing happens.  Children have basic survival needs for attachment and authenticity.  Children who experience trauma learn early on how to disconnect from their gut feelings, where their authenticity comes from.  At times, a child’s authenticity may threaten their attachment to their parents.  For example, when a child receives a message that “angry little kids” don’t get loved, they will disconnect from their authenticity to remain attached to their parents every time.

It is very hard to reconnect and do this alone.  There are many forms of therapy that can help people understand what happened to them.  Traditional talk therapy, Somatic Experiencing, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization  & Reprocessing), (EFT) Emotional Freedom Tapping, Yoga, etc.

This month, Oprah Winfrey gave a story on 60 Minutes discussing the impacts of childhood trauma and the need for trauma-informed care. With all of this said, healing is possible.  We need more understanding of childhood trauma in medical, legal, and educational settings — especially as social and economic stressors increase.

“We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we created our world.” ~ Dr. Gabor Matè

FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY IN COUNSELING

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I’m sure we can all relate to wanting to burst into laughter while trying to hold it in.

As a school counselor, I get a glimpse into how kids see the world through their eyes. I wanted to take a moment to look at the lighter side of school counseling, and some of the funny things that have been said over the years.

I have to admit, with some of these, you just had to be there.


(During an elementary classroom introduction at the beginning of the school year.)

Counselor – “Does anyone know what a school counselor does?”

Student – “They cancel school!”

I thought about this for a moment and where he could have come up with this.

Counselor – “Oh!  You must of heard school canceler,  It’s school counselor!

As the class bursts into laughter, I thought about what it would be like to be a School Canceler…like I go around canceling school. “Alright everybody, schools canceled! Whoo-hoo!”


6th grader – “My dad doesn’t work.”

Counselor – “Ah, so your dad’s not working right now.”

The student responds with the most sincerity.

6th grader – “No, my dads a Stay-at-Home Mom.”

Laughing on the inside while moving on.


2nd grader – “People don’t really know what I am.”

I noticed he had said this like a wise old man, beyond his years.  Meanwhile, I’m wondering why he didn’t say who I am.  He said what I am.

Counselor –  “Oh, well…what are you?”

Student saying this again slowly, wise beyond his years. 

2nd grader – “I’m just a guy in a blue jacket.”

Laughing on the inside.  I’m not sure if he meant to be that profound in his statement. And yes, he was wearing a blue jacket.  Continue reading FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY IN COUNSELING

COUNSELING, RELATIONSHIPS, & WELLNESS THROUGHOUT THE LIFESPAN

“Sometimes I think we feign surrender in order to avoid the hard stuff that’s really there.” ~ Dr. L. Marinn Pierce

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In this episode of the Mindful Owl podcast, Dr. L. Marinn Pierce and I discuss counseling and relationships between wellness, spirituality, and personal dispositions of practicing professional counselors.

Some topics discussed are:

  • What is Counseling?
  • Integral Breath Therapy (IBT) – Integration Concepts
  • Wellness, Spirituality, and Personal Dispositions of Professional Counselors
  • Counselor Impairment
  • Empathy vs Compassion
  • Client-Centered vs Present-Centered
  • Religion and Spiritualty
  • Yoga, Meditation, and Present Moment Awareness
  • Trauma Bonds and Relationships
  • Disembodiment
  • Bypass

and much more…

Dr. L. Marinn Pierce is an Associate Professor and Program Coordinator of Counselor Education at California State University, Fresno.  She received her B.M. in Music Education from Brenau University, M.S. in Community counseling from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, Ed.S. in Community Counseling from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro, and Ph.D. in Counselor Education from the University of Tennessee.  Dr. Pierce’s clinical experience includes work with a variety of populations across multiple settings. While her primary area of emphasis is children and youth and their families, she has worked with adolescents in residential treatment, individuals with diverse counseling needs in community outpatient settings, children and adolescents in intensive outpatient and partial-hospitalization, and child and adolescent victims of sexual trauma.  Her research interests include counselor professional identity development, wellness, and the integration of spirituality into the counseling process. – American Counseling Association (ACA)

Hope you enjoy!

Mindful Owl Podcast – Ep.3 – Counseling, Relationships, & Wellness Through the Lifespan

You can reach Dr. Pierce @MarinnPierce on Twitter or lpierce@csufresno.edu

Further resources shared by Dr. Pierce:

Twitter
Continue reading COUNSELING, RELATIONSHIPS, & WELLNESS THROUGHOUT THE LIFESPAN

SCHOOL COUNSELING AND DUAL RELATIONSHIPS AMONG STAFF

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Our Ethical Standards for School Counselors have been updated for 2016, becoming much more specific in certain areas.  One area I’d like to point out is regarding dual relationships and managing boundaries — not just with students, but with school staff.

According to the American School Counseling Association Code of Ethics (2016), school counselors are to avoid dual relationships beyond the professional level with school personnel, parents/guardians and students’ other family members when these relationships might infringe on the integrity of the school counselor/student relationship (A.5.c).

You don’t find ethical tenets like this for teachers and other educators, but for counselors, it is more specific on the importance of keeping our relationships with staff professional.  This can present some challenges as you might have guessed, especially with building positive relationships with staff and feeling connected to the school.  Boundaries have to be continuously monitored as we manage multiple relationships among staff, students, and parents.  I’ve come across some great writing on this titled, Dual Relationships in Counseling by Gerald Corey, EdD, and Barbara Herlihy, PhD, which was written in the early 90’s, and I find it to be very relevant today. Continue reading SCHOOL COUNSELING AND DUAL RELATIONSHIPS AMONG STAFF

WE NEED TO LOOK AT OURSELVES FIRST

“It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

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I once had a teacher express their frustration to me regarding their 1st-grade student not taking responsibility for himself and his actions.  I responded with, “You know what?  I know a lot of adults who are still struggling with that.”

Hearing expressions such as these are common, as school counselors also provide consultation services for teachers and administrators.  We hear many challenges and frustrations while helping to provide meaningful insight to better understand the children in their classrooms.  Do we want our children to learn how to take responsibility?   Of course.  However, knowing that this is a struggle for everyone can help us be more patient, kind, and understanding with our students.

We as educators have to meet kids where they’re at.  We can’t put expectations on kids that we as adults are not meeting.  We have to model the desired behaviors we want our children and future generations to grow up learning.  We can’t expect anything upon them we ourselves are not doing.

We need to live the values we teach.   Continue reading WE NEED TO LOOK AT OURSELVES FIRST

DCT COMPREHENSIVE DEVELOPMENTAL SCHOOL COUNSELING PROGRAM

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Abstract

This literature review establishes a K-8 comprehensive developmental school counseling program.  This program is rooted in the ASCA National Model, emphasizing the Organizational Framework and Accountability Elements from Gysbers and Henderson (2006).  This program is based on the theoretical foundations of Developmental Counseling and Therapy (DCT) (Ivey,Ivey, Myers, Sweeney, 2005). Elementary and middle school students are in a unique developmental period of their lives, requiring specific and planned interventions. Counselors not having a focused developmental framework can potentially cause ethical issues such as “grab-bagging” for theoretical interventions on the spot, calling it eclecticism.  Furthermore, counselors may not have any plan or theoretical intervention at all.  Although many school counselors are aware of the need for more developmental programming, most are unsure of how to put it into practice (Paisley, Peace, 1995).  For these reasons, integrating DCT with the ASCA National Model will fully address both the comprehensive and developmental nature of the K-8 school counseling program.

Keywords: comprehensive, developmental, middle school, counseling program, DCT, ASCA, ethical issues, accountability, organizational, framework, K-8

NEW PODCAST! MINDFULNESS IN SCHOOLS

“Were so busy following a script and putting academics in front of kids, that we forget that they’re people–learning truly only happens through relationship.” ~ Shannon Hess

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How can we really make a difference in the world through education?  In this episode, Shannon Hess and I discuss some of the problems in education today, and how implementing mindfulness and teaching empathy can be a solution.

Shannon has a wide breadth and background in education. She is currently an induction coordinator for new teachers, mindfulness educator, and social justice advocate in California.  Shannon has a passion for making a difference in the lives of others through connecting to what we all share in common within our humanity. Shannon advocates for the importance of the relationship and discusses ways on how we can revolutionize education, ultimately changing the world.

Keep an eye out for The Five Ms Project, which focuses on self-care and mental well-being.

Mental Health, Mindset, Mindfulness, Mindsight, Movement

Hope you enjoy!

Mindful Owl Podcast – Ep.1 – Mindfulness in Schools

Resources and links discussed in this episode:

https://www.spiritrock.org

http://thehawnfoundation.org

http://www.stillquietplace.com

You can reach and connect with Shannon at sh41ster@gmail.com

For more on relationships and breaking the generational cycle as discussed in this episode, check out What Matters Most and Breaking the Vicious Cycle.

BREAKING THE VICIOUS CYCLE

“The way you help heal the world is you start with your own family.” ~ Mother Theresa

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I’ve worked with families and their children in various settings for over a decade now. Over the years, I’ve noticed a vicious cycle, functioning like an insurmountable curse that plagues families generation after generation. This cycle usually presents itself as at-risk kids who grow up to have their own kids, who are also at-risk, who then grow up to have their own kids, who are at-risk, ad nauseaum — never having really dealt with the underlying issues that are causing the constant family breakdown. This cycle has never been so apparent to me until now as a school counselor.

In my profession, I come across many students who struggle academically, personally, and socially. Nine times out of ten, when I meet their parents, I can almost instantaneously see exactly what’s going on.  I often see kids dealing with adult problems — problems that aren’t their kid’s responsibility to begin with. These kids begin to fall through the cracks all too often, while their parents are struggling with their own problems; especially with divorce. Continue reading BREAKING THE VICIOUS CYCLE